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The current year signifies a full decade since the term “vanishing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the notion that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a lover without explanation seemed like the height of rudeness. We were so innocent. In the 10 years since, seeking a mate has only become more perplexing – an commonly unsuccessful pursuit in embarrassment that is increasingly pigeonholed by online slang.

Generation Z, a generation who came of age during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated challenge on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown more extensive and more bizarre, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed glossary to the terms gen Z is using to talk about romance, sex and the quest of both. To echo one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the end of this glossary you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – In the view of Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “manic pixie dream girl” archetype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies going for someone who helps you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Choremance – A outing where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Melting down – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can spiral over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a symbol of 80s young urban professional affluence, it refers to couples who choose against having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: practicing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal habits signaling a prospective partner is trouble. Examples include calling their exes crazy, subpar tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These quirks confirm your choice to pursue a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe niche, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. For instance being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (nothing fosters intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of interest.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an incredibly romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be numbered since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance believable.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {